Rubber Ducky Valentines!

2.08.2016

Remember back in grade school, when you made a Valentine Mailbox, and everyone in your class gave you a Valentine? Then you grew up and had to “adult” and all the fun was taken out of Valentine’s Day. You had to trade in your Valentine Mailbox for a work desk stacked with things that needed to get done. I wish we could bring back the Valentine Mailbox to our grown up jobs. I would love to spend Friday taking in Valentine’s from all of my co-workers. I’d hope that we’ve graduated from paper Valentine’s to things like cheeseburgers, slices of pizza, cupcakes, etc. I would even settle for some coffee and wine. Why can’t we all just adopt this way of celebrating? I will gladly accept your food and drinks, and in exchange I will give you this adorable little rubber ducky.

This isn’t just any regular rubber ducky. It’s a miniature one. And it’s adorable. Who wouldn’t want a eenie meenie tiny rubber ducky? It is worth at least five cheeseburgers. Plus, it comes with it’s own adorable little tag. Clearly it’s even better than the cheeseburgers.

In case you have come over to the bright side, and realized how amazing these little rubber duckies are, you can find your own pack at Michael’s. Then print the tag below, and you’ve got an adorable little Valentine to give to all of your favorite friends or co-workers! Hopefully all of my co-workers will read this and decide to bring me cheeseburgers and pizza on Friday. They should not be worried that I am traveling to Mexico on Saturday and will be spending the weekend in a bikini. Puhhhlease. It’s worth it.

Print your Rubber Ducky tags here.

DIY

Survival Kit for the Unemployed

2.02.2016

I cannot wait until I turn 51. I know most people don’t want to get older, but I have been counting down to my retirement since I started working at 14. Only twenty more years to go, and I’ll finally be able to do exactly what I want to do every day. No alarm clock, no boss, just me. And my husband of course. I must give him credit, since it’s only because of him that I will be able to retire at that age. Don’t worry babe, I’ll take up knitting and sell handmade blankets to all the other old folks in our community. Side income right there. I’ll be your sugar momma.

There is only two ways that I’d stop working any time soon: we win the lottery (highly unlikely), or I lose my job (more likely, but keeping my fingers crossed it’s unlikely). I suppose if I had a baby I could get a few months off as well, but does that really count? Let’s see…screaming baby vs. screaming coworkers? Hmmmm…its a toss up.

While we remain lucky to still have our jobs, we recently had a friend that lost one. Although I still can’t figure out why people say “I lost my job,” since it’s not really lost. It stays exactly where it is, it just typically gets a new inhabitant. I wish jobs were as loyal as Lucy. Lucy would never let someone else take over my job. She is one loyal fat cat.

In order to send a little cheer to our dear friend, we put together this Survival Kit for the Unemployed. Nothing says “Cheer Up” like a box filled with candy and hand-picked gifts. And if that doesn’t cheer you up, then the mini bottle of alcohol better.

Survival Tools

Candy: Lemons/Lemonheads, Root Beer Candy / Root Beer, 100 Grand Candy, Laffy Taffy, Crybabies, Lifesavers, Licorice Bites, Pack of Gum, Peanuts

Brain Busters: Crossword Puzzle, Thesaurus, Notepad, Games, Thank You Cards, Puzzles, Bible

Miscellaneous: Cookie Mix, Alcohol, Champagne (not pictured), Tissues, Packing Tape, Air Freshener

Put everything together in a basket for your friend, and then say a prayer of thanks that you still have your job. While you’re at it, you might as well add an extra bottle of booze. They may need some serious cheer. Besides, you don’t need it. You have a job. Or is that exactly why you do need it?

Print the box tags here.

Print the individual tool tags here.

After you’ve printed your tags, and put your box together, I give you permission to have a drink. You deserve it.

DIY

40 Precious Jewels – A 40th Wedding Anniversary Gift

1.29.2016

You know how to tell when you can really count on someone? When you’ve been married for 40 years. It’s safe to assume that you’ve been through the ups and downs and all-arounds with that person, and came out unscathed. Or perhaps just a little worse for the wear. Especially if your spouse is a Chicago Bears fan. God bless you, you’re a saint. 40 years of that torment? (Go Pack Go!)

My in-laws have made it to that mark. They’ve spent 40 years of their lives married to each other. I don’t know how, since they don’t look a day over 50 (brownie points?). But regardless, it’s a major milestone. One that deserves lots of gifts and plenty of celebration. Or at least one gift and some champagne. Okay lots of champagne. After all, they’ve been married for forty years people!

I’m sure you’d agree with me that you can find an idea for almost everything on Pinterest. Seriously. What can you not find there? I’m pretty sure if you’re feeling hungover (there’s a pin for that) from drinking too many mimosa’s (there’s a pin for that) at your parent’s Hello Kitty themed anniversary party (there’s a pin for that too), Pinterest will save you.

Until you actually need an idea. Then Pinterest fails you. And here I thought I could count on Pinterest forever. When Pinterest and I took vows five years ago, I really thought it would be forever. I thought we’d be celebrating our 40 year anniversary some day. But do you know why we can’t? Because Pinterest has no original ideas for a 40th Anniversary. None. I’d have to come up with my own ideas? Preposterous! Clearly I’m being left out to dry.

Of course, my husband and his siblings wanted to do something extra special for their parents (cue the gifts and champagne), not just any little thing, so I really had to think. The traditional 40th Wedding Anniversary gift is a ruby. Light-bulb moment: since a ruby is a jewel, I decided to make a “40 Precious Jewels” garland for their mantle. What is more precious to parents than their children? (Cheeseburgers are not an option)

What You’ll Need:

40 three inch wooden tags

4-5 different sheets of colored/textured red paper

40 Ruby Jewel Beads

Photos

Red Ribbon/Garland/String

Trace a wooden tag onto the red paper (40x), then cut out.
Write out each tag with favorite memories, stories, or things you’ve learned from the couple.
Print desired number of photos (we did 10) on a regular colored printer, with white cardstock.
Paint the back of each wooden tag red.
Use Mod Podge to adhere each red paper tag to a wooden tag.
When it’s dry, use the MP again over the paper tag, to seal it.
Use a thick piece of yarn or string to measure out the length you want your garland to be (mine was 6 ft long).
Lay the tags out along your yarn, giving adequate spacing.
Use 4/5″ strips of ribbon/garland to tie knots throughout your tags.
String your ruby jewels on with yarn (or fishing line if you have it), and/or hot glue some to a few tags.

When you’re done, you’ll have a ruby garland filled with 40 Precious Jewels of memories, stories, and love. There just may be something more precious than children after all. Now, can someone please bring me the champagne? And a cheeseburger.

Caution: When the recipient opens this gift, be sure to have LOTS of Kleenex on hand. It’s a real tear jerker.

DIY, Holidays!

What’s the Dish?

1.26.2016

You know you’re busy when you haven’t been to the dollar store in over a month. Or at least I do. When I went shopping for the first time this year, I spent over $35 at the dollar store. Seriously. How do I possibly need thirty-five items from the dollar store? Don’t ask. I could justify each item if you did.

We’ve spent the last six weeks traveling the world…or at least we got as far as Key West anyway. We visited my in-laws in Georgia, our friends in San Diego, my parents in South Florida, and my sister-in-law in New York. I’d like to think we are world travelers, but the truth is, the long trips take more time and more $$$. Fitting in a few shorter domestic trips was much easier. Plus, we’re saving up the moolah and keeping our fingers crossed for “the big trip.” Details to come. That is, if we don’t owe the IRS $8K again this year. Damn government.

I had to come back sometime, get back into my routine. So I thought I’d start easy. No one has time for serious crafts right after a vacation. I’m still processing all of our laundry. Okay, that is not entirely true. My husband does the laundry. Ladies, don’t be jealous. I know I scored big time with that one.

Item #1 from the “dollar store thirty-five” was a candlestick. They didn’t have a cute candy dish on hand, so I picked one up at Michael’s. Whoever put our Michael’s and Dollar Tree right next to each other was a genius. A little hot glue or glass glue will stick them together perfectly. Apply a thin layer to the top of the candlestick and set the dish on top. Now I have a prettier dish for my desk. I mean, I can’t just have a plain ol’ candy dish sitting on my desk can I? People might think I’ve been vacationing too much, slacking on my crafting duties. Because, you know, I’m sure everyone at work notices the little things.

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Rubber Ducky Valentines!

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